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A Healer Gets a Healing

A Healer Gets a Healing Some time ago I saw a client whose girlfriend had scheduled the appointment on his behalf. I was told he needed help with “confidence”. So I was very surprised when a huge somewhat scary looking man, who was a boxer, showed up with the appearance of having almost too much...

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How TV gets Hypnosis wrong!

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 09-22-2014

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How TV gets Hypnosis wrong!

I watched an episode of Elementary (not a great show, watch Sherlock instead) where someone claimed to not remember committing a crime that the evidence shows was committed. I’m sitting there thinking, “Oh please, don’t try to say someone hypnotized that person into committing this crime. That is too stupid and cliché.” Sure enough, this erroneous and overused plot line followed leaving me yelling at the TV about how stupid and wrong this is while my husband laughed.

Hollywood loves to paint hypnosis as nefarious because it makes for an interesting plot twist,  while standard talk it out therapy is always painted in a helpful, almost angelic light. What you don’t see is that talk it out therapy, even though it does work, takes quite a bit of time, whereas hypnotherapy tends to work much faster.

Even one of my favorite shows, True Blood, had vampires using some kind of hypnosis to make people do things. I kept waiting for one of those vampires to open an office with a big sign saying, “Quit smoking today,” but it never happened. I have seen so many stupid movies where they showed hypnotized people doing things they normally wouldn’t do. Usually the character does something really bad or just ridiculous as in the case of The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (a seriously bad movie) where a whole audience was hypnotized and then moved to a new location. Even Office Space, though funny as heck, had the main character doing some crazy things after seeing a hypnotherapist and getting stuck in a hypnotic state (not possible by the way).

The only movie I’ve seen get it right was Dead Again. This movie actually portrays hypnosis processes the most accurately, and the characters received information that could really come up in session even if a bit exaggerated. (Good movie by the way – Netflix it)

I’m thinking the psychotherapy community has better spokespeople than we do. I find this interesting because psychotherapy has only been around about 100 years or so, whereas modern hypnotherapy has been around about 55 years, not a huge difference. As a side note, there is evidence that hypnosis was used in ancient Egypt, but modern hypnosis, the way it’s done now, has only been around about 55 or so years.

This bothers me because it keeps people who need help from seeking it; they fear someone will implant some crazy idea into their head, and they will kill their mother and not remember it. With hypnosis, you can’t make someone do anything they don’t want to do. In fact, sometimes you can’t even make them do something they want to do. They do it for themselves. Sometimes a person is more open to change than others, and that will determine their success.

Don’t believe what you see on TV about hypnosis. Remember that even the news has become “entertainment,” and most of the time, the truth is not really that entertaining without a little bit of help from a good writer. If you are sitting in the movie theater where someone on screen is using hypnosis in a ridiculous way, and you hear a woman yell, “What the f…” loudly, that’s me, annoyed again.

Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
760-803-2841
www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com
http://www.facebook.com/mindbodyhealth
Author of the book “Feed Your Real Hunger” & “30 day weight loss Jumpstart” Hypnosis CD
For more information and free hypnosis meditations visit www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com

A Healer Gets a Healing

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing | Posted on 09-03-2014

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A Healer Gets a Healing

Some time ago I saw a client whose girlfriend had scheduled the appointment on his behalf. I was told he needed help with “confidence”. So I was very surprised when a huge somewhat scary looking man, who was a boxer, showed up with the appearance of having almost too much confidence.

He told me right away he was about to break up with his girlfriend (the one who had scheduled and paid for this visit) and didn’t want to talk about their relationship at all. “Ok, so what do you want to talk about?” Maybe because he knew he wasn’t going to see me again, or maybe he just really wanted to talk, but what followed was a surprisingly honest conversation from a man admitting something he wasn’t proud of.

“I’ve been to jail a few times for beating up girlfriends. But what I don’t understand and maybe you can explain it to me, is why they stayed with me after I beat them up? Not one of them left. Most of them even bailed me out, and only one actually pressed charges.”

I admit being a bit stunned but didn’t let it show. “Well, this is a hard one to explain completely in a short period of time, but for some, maybe you remind them of someone who abused them before, typically a father figure. In a weird little way, what is familiar, even if it is bad, is often more comfortable than the unknown, such as having a loving, drama-free relationship.”

He revealed that many of them had admitted to being abused in some form in the past by a parent, but it wasn’t always physical. I explained it didn’t have to be; emotional abuse is abuse too. “Maybe some of them feel on some level if they can figure out how to make you not abuse them, they can heal the earlier relationship with the other person. Others may believe they don’t deserve anything better. A truly healthy emotional person would leave at the first hint of excessive anger, and you wouldn’t even get a chance to hit them.” This seemed to make sense to him.

I asked him, “Why did you never seek help for your anger issues? I am sure you lost some great relationships over it.”

He admitted that he did lose some great woman but explained, “I never had any incentive to get help. These woman stayed and believed me when I cried and said I wouldn’t do it again. I knew it was BS, but they believed it. I think they just wanted to so they did.”

“If they had left you after that first time, left you in jail and moved out while you were gone, would you have sought help?”

“Probably not after the first one but after the second or third, yes, for sure because there would be a consequence. But in my case, there never was. Women are easy for me to meet so when they finally left, it was just on to the next one who let me beat them up too. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I wish those women wouldn’t have let me get away with it.”

After some time of talking and explaining, I finally said, “I know you don’t need help with confidence. So what would you like to work on with hypnosis?”

“I think my anger problem.”

“Excellent choice,” I said. He left, and I never saw him again, but in our hour together I had been given an amazing gift.

You see, very early in my life I had a boyfriend who was physically abusive, and like his girlfriends I didn’t leave right away. Through my client, I received something I never had a chance to get when my relationship ended… his side of the story. While I didn’t agree with his actions, for the first time at least I understood. I sometimes wonder if that person came in because there was some aspect of myself in need of healing. Either way, I am glad he came, and I was able get insight and closure on something from my past. For me, that was an amazing gift.

Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
760-803-2841
www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com
http://www.facebook.com/mindbodyhealth
Author of the book “Feed Your Real Hunger” & “30 day weight loss Jumpstart” Hypnosis CD
For more information and free hypnosis meditations visit www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com