Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing | Posted on 01-30-2015
Tags: healing, health, healthy relationships, love, relationships
Relationship Advice For Couples
Over the years, I have seen lots of married people in my office come in for all sorts of issues, many of them relationship concerns, and in that time, I have noticed a few things that I think are important to share.
First, I will preface this by saying, these are not hard and steady rules. Even in my practice I have seen exceptions, but these are common trends to consider.
The kiss of death in relationships:
– Not sleeping in the same bed for any reason. Not a good sign. Even if the person claims it’s because someone snores, that never seems to go well for long.
– Having kids when the relationship is on shaky ground. Bad idea. A child highlights a couple’s relationship weaknesses and turns a crack into a crevice very quickly. Some people think having kids will save their relationship, but in my experience, the opposite happens.
– Not seeing each other. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder…” of someone else. I don’t know how military families survive deployment. They often don’t. Not being around your partner very much is never good for a relationship.
– Making your whole life revolve around him and/or the kids. Everyone in the household needs and deserves their own interests, and it’s important for Mom to make sure she has her own things going on so she’s not depending on her children and husband for life satisfaction. Making your life all about them tends to make you more needy, and that is never healthy for a relationship’s longevity. Plus, it makes women terribly unhappy in the long run.
– Drug, alcohol or sex addiction. Addictions ruin families, destroy your financial future and make enemies out of life partners. If this is an issue in the family, seek help right away.
– Exes and step kids. Think long and hard if you are dating someone with a child because no matter how much you love that person or their children, the ex will always be a part of your relationship. That can make a marriage feel a bit crowded. Make an honest assessment to ensure you can handle this before you sign up for “Till death…” It’s not selfish to say it doesn’t work for you.
Things that are not necessarily the kiss of death:
– Cheating. It sounds like an instant end, but I have commonly heard from people that someone cheating was the best thing that happened to their relationship. It forced them to look at the problems in their partnership and work on their relationship. Many couples are able to survive this and thrive after.
– Sexual Dysfunction. For either party, these issues can be resolved, and often the process of working together as a couple on these issues makes the couple stronger than before.
– Workaholics. Sounds bad and sometimes it is the kiss of death, but if both people are working hard at their own things, they can still have a lovely, happy partnership. Problems tend to arise when one person is a stay at home partner, and the other is always gone.
Again, these are observations, not hard and steady rules. Do keep in mind, people typically come in because something’s not working well. As I have seen these same issues over and over again, I wanted to share what I have learned. Hope this gives you some insight. Feel free to share any advice you might have.
Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
Author of the book “Feed Your Real Hunger” & “30 day weight loss Jumpstart” Hypnosis CD
For more information and free hypnosis meditations visit www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com