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A habit starts with a decision…

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 07-23-2015

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A habit starts with a decision…

A decision that was made a long time ago for reasons that may or may not be valid anymore. Most decisions are straight forward: “This is how we handle situation X.” For example, when we hear someone call our name, we turn around. Other decisions are more complicated. For instance, when I behave a certain way with a specific person, I can expect a certain reaction, such as when I give Grandma a big hug and receive a positive response.

The vast majority of the habits we perform on a daily basis originated before the age of 10, which is why some of the decisions that create our habits seem childish. I hear all the time from clients, “I have this weird fear. Logically I know X can’t hurt me, but I can’t help feeling this way.”

Fears are initiated by decisions. For example, a child who gets bitten by a dog might decide that a particular kind of dog is dangerous or worse, that all dogs should be feared.

We are only born with two fears—falling and loud noises. All other fears are learned.

Most of our decision based habits are pretty benign. If you have ever driven a stick shift, even if it’s been years since you had one, you probably still put your hand on the gear shift when you come to a stop sign.

Other decision based habits may have worked at one time but could be hurting us now. For example, children learn pretty early in life that a cookie can soothe an emotional upset when they are handed a cookie every time they feel upset, or when they observe others model the behavior of eating a cookie to self-soothe when upset.

Children in an abusive home may create the belief they don’t deserve to have their needs met so they shouldn’t ask for things. While this behavior might have prevented even more abuse from happening while they were in the home, this habit of not asking for what they need will hurt their chances of creating a happy life later on. The negative lie they don’t deserve all the best things in life can be the root feeling driving other destructive behaviors in life.

Some children who are being physically abused in the home might make the decision that an extra layer of fat on the body will keep the blows from hurting as much, thus sentencing them to a lifetime of carrying extra weight.
The worst part about these decisions is they are unconscious—meaning they are secretly running the show from a place in your mind that you rarely visit, and you likely don’t even know exists.

So how do you fix this?

The best way is to get into a meditative or hypnotic state. Go back to the time you made the original decision and make a different decision so you actually resolve your issue from a place of conscious awareness. For example, choose to soothe an upset by journaling rather than eating.

Can you do this on your own?

Yes, but it’s harder, although sometimes just being aware that an unconscious belief is what’s running the show can facilitate healing. Other beliefs are more deep seated and can be very difficult to get rid of without the help of some kind of therapist, hypnotherapist, counselor, or other wellness practitioner to support your process.
One thing is certain; the process of recognizing a deeply imbedded thought or feeling causing you to engage in behaviors that are no longer serving you will help you make a positive change in your life. Take a deeper look into the “why” your negative habits are present, rather than focusing on “what” you are doing that you don’t like. Addressing the “why” is the key to making permanent, positive change, especially since the root decision (the why) may be feeding MANY of your negative habits, even ones you don’t think about very often.

Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
Author of the book “Feed Your Real Hunger” & “30 day weight loss Jumpstart” Hypnosis CD
For more information and free hypnosis meditations visit www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com