Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 01-26-2016
Tags: losing weight, self esteem, weight loss
What follows is a fairly typical response to a question on my intake forms from a woman regarding what brought her in for a session.
“Where do I begin… Well, I have serious confidence issues due to an abusive childhood. I was raped when I was a teen and have since found it really hard to find good men to date. I am trying to get out of my current relationship with a guy who is not nice to me, but because of my low self-esteem, I feel like I won’t do any better. (sadly that’s likely true)I have a job I hate where my boss is constantly belittling me and taking credit for all the great ideas I come up with, but I don’t feel pretty enough to get a better job. So I stay. Having said all that, I am here because I want to lose weight. I feel like if I could just take control of my weight, then everything else I could handle.”
She was correct in listing the weight issue as the last one, because even though she feels like it is the only thing she really wants to work on, it’s really the least of her problems. She needs to work on her self-confidence, heal the past trauma of her rape, and learn how to love herself more so she can set better boundaries at work and in her relationships. She also likely needs to heal her past issues with her family of origin so she can create the life she really wants for herself.
Here is another example of a typical response I receive:
“My husband has told me he no longer finds me attractive because of my weight. I am starting to suspect he might be cheating on me, but I have very young kids and no job outside of the home. I need to do whatever I can to keep my marriage intact, so I am here to lose weight.”
Like the previous example, this woman needs to work on confidence and self-esteem issues, but she also needs to make some hard decisions about what her options might be. If she is leaning toward divorce, she could benefit from a discreet visit to a lawyer to find out her legal options. Losing weight WILL NOT solve this problem.
Weight gain is a SYMPTOM of a problem, not a problem on its own. This “symptom” brings a lot of people into my office to work on the deeper, more difficult issues that are typically negatively impacting almost every area of their lives.
When you heal those deeper areas, you create profound changes that can turn your whole life around for the better.
Diet and exercise programs fail because they lack the component that addresses the underlying core issue. If you happen to be in the 1% that succeeds without going deep, who cares if you are thin and unhappy, and your life is a mess?
As a side note, if you take away food as your drug of choice or coping mechanism during difficult times, you might find yourself reaching for something even less healthy like drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes—all of which are MUCH harder problems to solve than overeating.
If you want to heal your emotional eater so you can access your inner thin self, know that in a true healing session you will be talking about more than what you ate for lunch. Love yourself enough to do the hard work of change. You are so very worth that hard work.
Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis