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Six Surprising Observations about Men, Women & Relationships

As some of you know, I’ve been a certified, practicing hypnotherapist for about ten years now. In that span of time—after talking to hundreds of clients about issues in their personal relationships—I feel a bit more qualified than most to share some general observations about human behavior in...

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Simple Self-Hypnosis Process

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing, Mental Health | Posted on 08-15-2017

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Simple Self-Hypnosis Process

It’s much easier to make your goals and intentions a reality if you can actually see and feel yourself achieving them in your mind’s eye. Self-hypnosis and guided imagery is a great way to help you connect to your goals on the inside in a way that makes them more real, thereby encouraging you to take the necessary actions every day toward achieving them. It can be very difficult for you to reach your goals if you can’t actually see yourself doing them. For instance, a fat person who can’t imagine being thin, and how good that would feel, might find it hard to get motivated enough to do all the steps needed to make it a reality.

Self-hypnosis helps you make that mind-body connection from where you can start to feel the changes you are trying to create. In other words, using self-hypnosis can help you feel like a thin person or rich person or any other outer change that you are trying to create in your life.

It should be noted that with self-hypnosis you are not able to go to the deeper levels of hypnosis that a therapist can take you to. Therefore, self-hypnosis is best used for simpler goals with very specific outcomes, like lowering your golf score or giving a good presentation at a sales meeting. It generally doesn’t work as well for bigger lifestyle changes, like losing weight, which often involves creating change in many areas of your life at once.

However, having said that, I still encourage everyone to give this process a try because it can really make difficult changes seem more doable.

There are many different techniques for self-hypnosis and many books that describe more detailed and complicated processes. Read one of those if you like but I personally like things that are simple so that’s how mine is written.

Step-by-Step Self-Hypnosis Process

1)     Find a quiet place where you can relax for a few minutes on either a chair or couch. I would also recommend putting on some peaceful relaxing music.

2)     Sit or lie down in a comfortable position, but don’t get so comfortable you fall asleep.

3)     Now notice your breath, the inhalation and exhalation, becoming aware of the ebb and flow of your breath as you allow yourself to become fully supported by the chair. Begin to feel yourself sinking into your chair.

4)     Now as you relax, imagine yourself sitting at the most peaceful place you can imagine. I want you to sink deep into the picture and make it as real as possible, filling it with all the details of the setting: the sounds, textures and smells of this place. As you get in touch with the peace of this place, I want you to see yourself drifting further and further down in this picture. You can do this by walking down a flight of stairs or by placing this scene on a cloud and bringing it further and further down.

5)     Now picture a problem situation or event for which you want to create a specific outcome. Examples may include making a sales call that you want to go well, participating in a sporting event where you want to do your best, or even resolving a conflict with a friend, family member, or co-worker in a specific favorable way.

6)     Now play this scene over in your mind, seeing it go exactly the way you wish while repeating (in your mind) a positive affirmation that is appropriate to the situation. For example: “I am a competent and capable salesperson who makes my clients want to buy from me,” or “I get along well with everyone,” or “I am an amazing baseball player.”

It’s important that both the scene and the situation be something that you are physically capable of doing and that you do believe, even on a conscious level, is possible. You wouldn’t want to see yourself winning the Masters golf tournament if you just started playing golf last week; although, hitting a better game than last time is certainly possible. Also, the affirmation needs to be said in a positive way. That is, you shouldn’t say, “I will not miss the ball,” because that may cause you to focus more on “missing the ball.” It’s better if your affirmation is something like, “I get better and better every time I step up to the tee.”

7)     Continue to play the scene in your mind with the affirmation at least five times while you continue to relax and be supported by the chair.

8)     When you are ready, you can bring yourself up by first becoming aware of the feelings of the chair supporting you, then start to wiggle your fingers and toes while becoming aware of the room and your soundings. And finally, when you are ready, open your eyes.

Jill Thomas CCHT

Soul Connect Hypnotherapy




Addictions, Phobias, and How They’re Alike

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing, Mental Health | Posted on 08-01-2017

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Addictions, Phobias, and How They’re Alike

A hypnotherapy teacher I once had shared her belief that drug addicts and people with severe fears/phobias have “entities” attached to them. Instantly, a picture flashed in my mind of slimy gremlins with teeth and claws, clinging to innocent humans. I began getting freaked out, and had to ask her to explain! According to the teacher, addiction itself becomes like a person—a parasite, really—that is secretly running the life of its host, sapping all their joy. The same is true for someone who lives with acute fear(s), which completely overpowers them and controls their behavior, emotions, words, and decisions.

I can’t say I’m willing to think of a drug addict or fear-ridden person as plagued by a parasitic entity…that’s a couple steps into the realm of “too weird” for me. However, in my work with clients over the years, I have come to understand what my early teacher was talking about.

For example, someone with a strong fear of driving is compelled to check in with that phobia before making any plans requiring travel. Person to Fear: “Would it be okay if I go visit Grandma on Saturday, or will you cripple me with terror and make me hyperventilate when I get in the car?” Fear to Person: “NO! You can’t go! What are you thinking? You would have to drive on the freeway, and I won’t let you do that!” At this point, the sufferer crawls into him- or herself and starts feeling anxious before they’ve even gotten anywhere near the car. They’re defeated once again, and their life just keeps getting smaller. In addition to that, they now have to make an embarrassing phone call to Grandma explaining (i.e. making up) the reason why they can’t come and see her.

Drug addicts have it even worse, as that drug, or more accurately, the need to keep that drug flowing through their bodies, literally consumes most of their waking thoughts. The fear of not having access to that drug totally runs their lives. I include food addiction in this category, as anyone who has an issue with food will tell you that thinking about it takes up a huge amount of their time. The only difference is that food addiction is quite a bit less destructive than drug addiction—or at least, less immediately destructive.

To make matters worse, in both cases, people around the afflicted person do not understand why that individual can’t “just stop” taking the drug or overeating. Why can’t that phobic individual “just get over it”? People who don’t have these problems simply don’t comprehend how difficult it is for people who do.

If you suffer from an addiction or phobia, what can you do? Get professional help. Like a weed planted in your back yard, either one of these issues will grow like crazy unless you do something early, when they’re less deeply rooted. From my experience with clients, it’s apparent that if ignored, these problems fester and get bigger—one small, mildly annoying fear can blossom into five huge, debilitating ones. With drugs, it’s even worse. These days, there are illicit drugs that can hook users after just one dose. Others may take longer, but it’s unsafe to experiment.

Both addiction and dysfunctional fear, which as you can see have certain similarities, are not only devastating to the person affected, but to everyone around them, including their family and loved ones.  Getting help might be easier if you consider that these issues affect more than just you. I, myself, am the daughter of a person who suffered from severe fears and phobias, and over time I’ve had to confront the detrimental effects this had on my own psyche. Please! Love yourself and your family enough to do the work to heal, because all of you deserve the best life possible.

And if you need help, Give me a call today!

Jill Thomas 760-803-2841