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Six Questions to ask Before you Buy

In my many years of working with clients on both emotional eating and emotional spending, I have observed that the two issues are very much the same. I’ve discussed emotional eating quite a bit already, so I’d like to talk about buying binges. Similar to dieting, which doesn’t address emotional...

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Celebrate Your True Self

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing | Posted on 06-20-2017

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Jill with a GoatCelebrate Your True Self

One of the privileges of my profession is the opportunity to talk to people about feelings and problems in their lives on a deeper, more authentic level than the way most people normally relate to one another, even their friends. In general, people rarely open up about their goals, fears, and other parts of their inner world. I think this is sad because, quite frankly, that’s the best part of a person! For example, when I’m on Facebook and read the five things people list as “interests” on their profile, I’m far more curious to learn why those things are important to them, how those interests make them feel, and the story behind them.

True Disclosure – Over the years, I’ve had many members of Alcoholics Anonymous as clients, and all have told me that what they like best about going to their AA meetings is listening to other people share on a gut level about themselves, “warts” and all, and their sometimes-harrowing life experiences. Finding out that others have had similar feelings and humiliating incidents helps members to be less judgmental and more compassionate with themselves and the people around them.

True Purpose – One technique I use in my practice is past life regression, during which I guide clients into a deep trance state where it is possible to explore the actual purpose of their soul beyond present time and space. This is an amazing experience, as you can imagine, and through it, clients become aware of their own vital importance by discovering the special and particular reason they exist!

Truly Who We Are – Wouldn’t it be astounding if more of us tried to drop the mask we usually wear—you know, that all-important “impression management” façade—and were more authentically ourselves? Think how much easier it would be to get along with others. If only we could see that the image we put so much effort into projecting could never be more beautiful and interesting than who we really are.

True Love – If you want to find real love, let people see the actual you…the person I am so blessed to talk to during our sessions. You really are all so astonishing when you’re being “real.” Think about the great effort to maintain that acting job of being cool, confident, and together all the time, when inside you know you’re just faking it. It might help you to know that just about every person you think is SOOO confident, feels the same way you do inside. If you don’t believe me, try asking anyone about this (especially after they’ve had a glass or two of wine!), and you’ll see.

So, love yourself enough to let more of your freak flag fly! Even if people don’t “get” you, when all is said and done, the most important thing is that YOU get you.

**Yes, that is truly me with very little makeup, holding a goat cuz it sounded like fun. : )

Namaste.

Jill Thomas
760-803-2841
Healthy Habits Hypnosis www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com &
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy http://www.soulconnecthypnotherapy.com 

Relationship Advice For Couples

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing | Posted on 01-30-2015

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Relationship Advice For Couples

Over the years, I have seen lots of married people in my office come in for all sorts of issues, many of them relationship concerns, and in that time, I have noticed a few things that I think are important to share.

First, I will preface this by saying, these are not hard and steady rules. Even in my practice I have seen exceptions, but these are common trends to consider.

The kiss of death in relationships:

Not sleeping in the same bed for any reason. Not a good sign. Even if the person claims it’s because someone snores, that never seems to go well for long.

Having kids when the relationship is on shaky ground. Bad idea. A child highlights a couple’s relationship weaknesses and turns a crack into a crevice very quickly. Some people think having kids will save their relationship, but in my experience, the opposite happens.

Not seeing each other. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder…” of someone else. I don’t know how military families survive deployment. They often don’t. Not being around your partner very much is never good for a relationship.

Making your whole life revolve around him and/or the kids. Everyone in the household needs and deserves their own interests, and it’s important for Mom to make sure she has her own things going on so she’s not depending on her children and husband for life satisfaction. Making your life all about them tends to make you more needy, and that is never healthy for a relationship’s longevity. Plus, it makes women terribly unhappy in the long run.

Drug, alcohol or sex addiction. Addictions ruin families, destroy your financial future and make enemies out of life partners. If this is an issue in the family, seek help right away.

Exes and step kids. Think long and hard if you are dating someone with a child because no matter how much you love that person or their children, the ex will always be a part of your relationship. That can make a marriage feel a bit crowded. Make an honest assessment to ensure you can handle this before you sign up for “Till death…” It’s not selfish to say it doesn’t work for you.

Things that are not necessarily the kiss of death:

– Cheating. It sounds like an instant end, but I have commonly heard from people that someone cheating was the best thing that happened to their relationship. It forced them to look at the problems in their partnership and work on their relationship. Many couples are able to survive this and thrive after.

Sexual Dysfunction. For either party, these issues can be resolved, and often the process of working together as a couple on these issues makes the couple stronger than before.

Workaholics. Sounds bad and sometimes it is the kiss of death, but if both people are working hard at their own things, they can still have a lovely, happy partnership. Problems tend to arise when one person is a stay at home partner, and the other is always gone.

Again, these are observations, not hard and steady rules. Do keep in mind, people typically come in because something’s not working well. As I have seen these same issues over and over again, I wanted to share what I have learned. Hope this gives you some insight. Feel free to share any advice you might have.

Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
760-803-2841
www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com
http://www.facebook.com/healthyhabitshypnosis
Author of the book “Feed Your Real Hunger” & “30 day weight loss Jumpstart” Hypnosis CD
For more information and free hypnosis meditations visit www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com

A Healer Gets a Healing

Posted by healthyhabi | Posted in healing | Posted on 09-03-2014

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A Healer Gets a Healing

Some time ago I saw a client whose girlfriend had scheduled the appointment on his behalf. I was told he needed help with “confidence”. So I was very surprised when a huge somewhat scary looking man, who was a boxer, showed up with the appearance of having almost too much confidence.

He told me right away he was about to break up with his girlfriend (the one who had scheduled and paid for this visit) and didn’t want to talk about their relationship at all. “Ok, so what do you want to talk about?” Maybe because he knew he wasn’t going to see me again, or maybe he just really wanted to talk, but what followed was a surprisingly honest conversation from a man admitting something he wasn’t proud of.

“I’ve been to jail a few times for beating up girlfriends. But what I don’t understand and maybe you can explain it to me, is why they stayed with me after I beat them up? Not one of them left. Most of them even bailed me out, and only one actually pressed charges.”

I admit being a bit stunned but didn’t let it show. “Well, this is a hard one to explain completely in a short period of time, but for some, maybe you remind them of someone who abused them before, typically a father figure. In a weird little way, what is familiar, even if it is bad, is often more comfortable than the unknown, such as having a loving, drama-free relationship.”

He revealed that many of them had admitted to being abused in some form in the past by a parent, but it wasn’t always physical. I explained it didn’t have to be; emotional abuse is abuse too. “Maybe some of them feel on some level if they can figure out how to make you not abuse them, they can heal the earlier relationship with the other person. Others may believe they don’t deserve anything better. A truly healthy emotional person would leave at the first hint of excessive anger, and you wouldn’t even get a chance to hit them.” This seemed to make sense to him.

I asked him, “Why did you never seek help for your anger issues? I am sure you lost some great relationships over it.”

He admitted that he did lose some great woman but explained, “I never had any incentive to get help. These woman stayed and believed me when I cried and said I wouldn’t do it again. I knew it was BS, but they believed it. I think they just wanted to so they did.”

“If they had left you after that first time, left you in jail and moved out while you were gone, would you have sought help?”

“Probably not after the first one but after the second or third, yes, for sure because there would be a consequence. But in my case, there never was. Women are easy for me to meet so when they finally left, it was just on to the next one who let me beat them up too. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I wish those women wouldn’t have let me get away with it.”

After some time of talking and explaining, I finally said, “I know you don’t need help with confidence. So what would you like to work on with hypnosis?”

“I think my anger problem.”

“Excellent choice,” I said. He left, and I never saw him again, but in our hour together I had been given an amazing gift.

You see, very early in my life I had a boyfriend who was physically abusive, and like his girlfriends I didn’t leave right away. Through my client, I received something I never had a chance to get when my relationship ended… his side of the story. While I didn’t agree with his actions, for the first time at least I understood. I sometimes wonder if that person came in because there was some aspect of myself in need of healing. Either way, I am glad he came, and I was able get insight and closure on something from my past. For me, that was an amazing gift.

Jill Thomas CCHT
Healthy Habits Hypnosis
760-803-2841
www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com
http://www.facebook.com/mindbodyhealth
Author of the book “Feed Your Real Hunger” & “30 day weight loss Jumpstart” Hypnosis CD
For more information and free hypnosis meditations visit www.healthyhabitshypnosis.com